Snape Food
by Dante Pierre
Summary: Harry leaves the school and comes back with a special gift for Snape. Ron is confused. Hermione thinks both Harry and Ron are idiots.


**A/N: HI!**

**I own nothing. lalalalala**

**Ok, I haven't posted anything for like a super duper unacceptably long time and I'm sorry. But I found this. Yay! Please don't hate me for not putting stuff up. Actually, it's ok, I'm an awful person for not uploading anything. I'm sorry again. I'll try harder.**

**Actually you can hate both of us. NEITHER of us have uploaded anything. Don't just be mad at me. We're working on something new though. heheheheheh.**

**Otherwise, review, and enjoy? Maybe? Please?**

**~Dante Pierre**

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><p>Harry hadn't been in class the whole afternoon. In fact, he hadn't even been at <em>school<em> for the whole afternoon. He had taken off during lunch saying something about an errand to run and had yet to return.

It was already after dinner and Harry still hadn't shown up. Even Ron was worried at this point. He and Hermione walked back to the room slowly in silence, wondering what had caused their friend's absence. Well, Ron actually was thinking about the lovely chicken he had had for dinner, Hermione was really the only one who was contemplating what sorts of horrors Harry had managed to get himself into now.

The common room was relatively empty, everyone was outside enjoying the warm weather. When Hermione and Ron walked into the common room, the only other person in the common room, much to their surprise was Harry.

"Oi, mate!" Ron called, walking over to Harry, who was hunched over a yellow bag of some sort.

"Harry!" Hermione squealed, running up to give him a hug, but before she could embrace her friend, Harry stuck up a hand and stopped Hermione in her tracks. Hermione looked at him, confused. Harry had his tongue stuck out and he was staring intently at the bag, brows furrowed in concentration. After a minute or two, Harry stood up, revealing the face of the bag, and turned to his friends, smiling proudly.

It was your everyday muggle puppy food bag, complete with a cute picture of a golden retriever puppy, except the word "puppy" had been scratched out with a quill and replaced with something else.

"_Snape_ food?" Ron muttered, more confused than ever. Hermione caught on right away.

"Please tell me you didn't skip classes to get a bag of muggle puppy food." She said crossly.

"What? I told Dumbledore I had an errand to run and he said I was old enough to make my own decisions and let me go." Harry replied defensively.

Hermione sighed. _Boys._

"Um, Harry? Why are you giving muggle food to...Snape?" Ron asked, still trying to fit the pieces together.

"It's not muggle food Ron, it's dog food. And I'm giving it to Snape 'cause it'll be funny."

"Oh." It always did take Ron a while to catch on.

"Can we go leave it in front of his door or something?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded and replied, "Let's go later tonight."

"Good idea, mate. This is gonna be awesome!" Both boys smiled mischievously.

Hermione shook her head disappointedly.

"Count me out. I don't want to be around when Snape catches you doing that." She muttered before turning and walking towards her dorm.

The boys kept talking, completely unaware of the fact that Hermione had left.

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><p><em>The next morning<em>

Severus got up at the crack of dawn, like every other morning, and like every other morning he got ready to teach the thick-headed brats called students. It seemed like a dull, normal day. At least that was until Severus opened his door and almost tripped over a bag.

Muttering very unprofessional curses, he regained his balance and looked at the bag, enraged. Then he noticed the adorable puppy staring back at him, and his features noticeably softened. Hesitantly, he picked the bag up. Snape food. _Snape_ food? He raised an eyebrow, who would leave Snape food outside his door? Maybe one if his students... He brought the bag into his room, set it down on his desk and left. By the end of breakfast the mysterious bag had already left his mind.

That evening, after supervising the many students he had given detention, he returned to his quarters and was greeted by a smiling dog staring into his soul. That dog really was starting to creep him out. He walked up to his desk and purposely turned the bag around. Much better. Much to his surprise, there was more writing on the back.

_A tasty mix of real chicken and beef that your _Snape _is sure to love. Filled with vitamins and nutrients that will keep your growing _Snape _healthy and happy._

Hmmm, that sounded quite lovely. Severus opened the bag and looked inside. The bag was filled with small brown pieces of food. Cautiously, he removed one and hesitantly nibbled it. It was hard, and smelled rather peculiar, but Severus had to admit it had quite a nice taste. He took another one out and then another and another. If he ever found out who sent them to him, he would have to thank them. In a very rude and berating way, of course.

It had been two days since Harry and Ron had left the bag of puppy food outside of Snape's room, and so far nothing had happened. Not being the patient type, the two boys had almost given up hope that their little joke had had any effect on the snarky git. And then they entered the Great Hall.

There, in his usual chair, sat Severus Snape eating out of a bag of dog food. _The_ bag of dog food. Ron and Harry promptly fell over in laughter and would not cease their racket even when four different teachers threatened them with , Hermione managed to get the two of them on their feet with the help of Seamus and Ginny.

"Oh dear." Muttered Harry once he had finally calmed down. He wiped the tears from his eyes and walked over to his seat, where he burst out into a fit of giggles once more.

All the while, the Potions Master sat watching , extremely unamused by Potter and Weasley's inappropriate outburst, munching away at his Snape food.


End file.
